i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
