i may or may not be watching the land before time
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
