i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
