C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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