doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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