you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
