At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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