my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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