what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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