You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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