Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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