1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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