I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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