My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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