Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
