I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
