Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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