were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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