yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
