Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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