help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
