There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
