My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
