So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize