never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
