We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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