nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
