This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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