he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
