At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
