The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
