More tranny stories later!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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