Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Enjoy the penises
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
