Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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(818): View more from California

Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Still drunk, heading to class.

(1-520): View more from Arizona

It's 3 a.m. Dude

(520): View more from Arizona

Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.

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