I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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