I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
