did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
