He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
