I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize