guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
