'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
