oh god the rape fog is back!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
