that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
