Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
