I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
