Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
