I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize