Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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