is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Your penis caused this!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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