We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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