did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
