and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
