There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
