bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
