I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
