i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
ok first of all what the fuck
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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