i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
