Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am spending my child support on dildos
Do vagina's smell?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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