I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
